It is remarkable for its undiplomatic and anecdotal tone, so distant from the department's standard bureaucratic style. For prospective spouses, "Marriage to Saudis" constituted an official tutorial in Saudi culture; for others, it served as a fascinating example of practical anthropology, school of hard knocks.

Garbage Bags - The Value of Muslim Women

the Saudi-American relationship virtually always blossoms in the States, in a climate that allows dating, cohabitation, children out of wedlock, religious diversity, and a multitude of other Islamic sins which go unnoticed by Saudi relatives and religious leaders thousands of miles away.
American citizen wives swear that the transformation in their Saudi husbands occurs during the transatlantic flight to the Kingdom. There is the universal recollection of approaching Riyadh and witnessing the donning of the black abayas and face veils by the fashionably dressed Saudi women. For many women, the Saudi airport is the first time they see their husband in Arab dress (i.e., the thobe and ghutra). For those American women reluctant to wear an abaya (the all-encompassing black cloak) and for those Saudi husbands who did not make an issue of the abaya prior to arriving, the intense public scrutiny that starts at the airport—given to a western woman who is accompanying a Saudi male—is usually the catalyst for the eventual covering up. Since the overwhelming majority of American citizen wives never travel to the Kingdom prior to their marriage, they are abruptly catapulted into Saudi society.

When, for example, a Catholic woman and a Muslim wish to marry, … bitter experience teaches us that a particularly careful and in-depth preparation is called for. During it the two fiancés will be helped to know and consciously "assume" the profound cultural and religious differences they will have to face, both between themselves and in relation to their respective families and the Muslim's original environment, to which they may possibly return after a period spent abroad.
If the marriage is registered with a consulate of the Islamic country of origin, the Catholic party must beware of reciting or signing documents containing the shahada (profession of the Muslim belief).
In any case, the marriage between a Catholic and a Muslim, if celebrated in spite of all this, requires not only canonical dispensation but also the support of the Catholic community both before and after the marriage. One of the most important tasks of Catholic associations, volunteer workers and counselling services will be to help these families educate their children and, if need be, to support the least protected member of the Muslim family, that is the woman, to know and insist on her rights.

• "Husband, beat your wives and deny them sex." (Koran 4:34)
• "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25)

Because our country receives people of all nationalities, cultures and religions, you may meet and develop a relationship with a Muslim man. He may be especially attractive because of his dark good looks, education, financial means and the interest he shows in you. You may be excited that you have found the 'tall, dark and handsome man' you have been looking for. His sweet words and attention may blind you regarding the influence of his Muslim religion and culture. Because we have freedom of religion, he may agree that you can keep your religion and you may think there will be no problem with such a marriage. Do not be deceived and become a victim of his religion which has very oppressive rules regarding women's status and rights. Such a marriage will cause you great heartache.

Do not be naive and become a victim. Very often there is a motive behind such a marriage. While you may be in love, a Muslim man could just be using you to obtain legal immigrant status and citizenship. …
You must be warned that Islam is more than a religion; it is a way of life, a complete code of the 7th Century pagan Arabian culture that Muslims want to force non-Muslims to adopt. If there is ever a dispute between you and your Muslim husband, he only needs to travel to a Muslim country and Islamic law, which favor men, would apply. …
The Muslim's mind is ingrained with the teachings of the Koran and his Muslim culture which favor men. It does not matter whether he practices Islam or not. …
Becoming a Muslim's wife would mean you are sacrificing your freedom. …
If you hope to have a successful married life, consider finding a Christian man. …
If you are married to a Muslim, never even consider giving up your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ under any situations.

are not encouraging, because with the passage of time there is often a return to [the spouses'] cultural, social, religious, and legal origins, with sometimes dramatic consequences, which the children pay for.

Jose Policarpo, head of the Catholic church in Portugal.

I would strongly advise to any non-Muslim woman NOT to get involved with a Muslim man. They will NEVER change, no matter how Americanized they seem. Their culture is too ingrained in them. They might want to be Western and they might live a Western lifestyle with their wife but once you have kids EVERYTHING will change.